


Mind over Matter

by M_Goodnight



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: Arguing, Best Friends, Brother-Sister Relationships, Father-Daughter Relationship, Flashbacks, Killing, One Night Stands, Secrets, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-07-03 18:14:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15824286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M_Goodnight/pseuds/M_Goodnight
Summary: He was the love of your life but the pain in your mind. He left you there and now he wants you only when it conveinet there's a lot going on and you have quite alot to work through





	1. ah Fuck

You groaned waking up, throwing off your favorite comforter you sat in bed and stretched your legs. You sit up and stretch your arms over your head catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You push your thick black hair out of your face revealing your icy blue eyes and the copper skin of your soft face. You stand up and look at the time, you had two hours till work. You owned a Bar in Los Santos and you usually went in about seven so you had plenty of time. Someone rented out the bar this evening and you had to be entertainment since your usual singer couldn’t make it tonight. You lived in Los Santos for about 7 years since your boyfriend or whatever left you for dead in San Andreas. Literally. You decided it was time for you to do you and moved away to where you are now. You had the hottest place in town and renting out the place was quite expensive if they hadn't rented it out you probably wouldn't even bother dressŕing up. You walked to your closet and pulled out a pair of ripped blue Jeans and a black cropped hoodie put them over your Red lingerie. You put on some large silver hoops and a black leather O-ring choker. You put your makeup on like you did any other day a simple wing and a bit of mascara was all you really needed. You put on 8 silver rings that often acted as brass knuckles when you needed them and walked to your kitchen. You had a pretty good sized apartment. Your room had a wall of photos as well as a wall of mirrors everything was pretty much some shade of red, black and white. You made you a quick breakfast of toast , scrambled eggs and a sliced green apple before throwing on a pair of chunky heel boots and walking out the door.

You hop into your wine red gauntlet and drive to you establishment, listening to the songs your gonna cover tonight. Wasn't very many just a few songs to make you feel different emotions before the DJ showed up at 8. You drive your car around the back and park before getting out and walking inside. You greet your bartenders and smile at your manager, Ayano. She was a petite girl with black hair shorter than yours usually held back in a ponytail he pale skin and grey eyes made her gorgeous she wore black thigh high boots and a blue high waisted mini pencil skirt and a white long sleeve crop top. She was the best manager you could have asked for she had no problem getting her hands dirty. She kept all your personal business in order when you weren't around she earned your trust 3 years ago when she was asked to help on a champagne delivery and seamlessly killed 6 men with a kitchen knife. You respected her and kept a good eye on her just in case. She informed you in her monotone voice that the renters of your bar was the Fake AH Crew you sighed it wasn’t uncommon for them to rent you out but you usually weren’t around when they were here. You were a busy women and Ayano could handle it as far as you knew you'd never had problems, but with your DJ running late tonight and your back up singer out for the count you couldn't run off and play through the city. 

You went upstairs to the VIP area to dress for your set, you changed into a black off shoulder goddess dress it had a long slit up your thigh showing off the lace garter gun holster tattoo on your thigh as well a the tops of your black angel wings on your back. You put on black suede ankle strap heels, you were rather short and in high school you started wearing heels to be taller so you usually were 4 feet 11 inches but in heels you ranged 5 foot something. They didn't hurt after constantly in heels you were a pro, even if you preferred to be barefoot. You were standing in front of a large one way window looking at a group of misfits walking into your building as you applied a Burgundy lipstick to your lips. You see a man in a purple hoodie and Jeans chatting to a man in a grotesque purple and orange get up while a man in a tuxedo with a handlebar mustache drank a beer with a ginger haired women there was a man in a brown leather jacket with glasses dancing with a man with a rather large nose and golden shade. Finally you noticed a man with a skull mask hiding on one of the corner couches drinking a diet coke. You watch Ayano walk to the stage to announce your entrance and quickly grab your Mic and walked out the VIP door that was shrouded in darkness. You heard your music begin as Ayano announced you and you began to sing once the spotlights hinged upon you.

I saved every letter you wrote me  
From the moment I saw you  
I knew you were mine  
You said you were mine  
I thought you were mine

 

You noticed how the man in the skull mask turned his attention towards you. You sang as you walked down the stairs gracefully towards the table where the two men in purple stood staring at you.

Do you know what Angelica said  
When I told her what you'd done?  
She said

 

You watched their eyes follow you as you took a cowboy hat of the man in purple and orange and placing it on your head.

"You have married an Icarus  
He has flown too close to the sun"

You winked flirtatiously as you walked to the men who were previously dancing and enjoy their enamored stares as you place your hat on the ginger as you step on to the stage.

Don't take another step in my direction  
I can't be trusted around you  
Don't think you can talk your way  
Into my arms, into my arms

 

You watched the man in the skull mask shift in his seat and smiled as the the only women in the group raised her glass of wine to you

I'm burning the letters you wrote me  
You can stand over there if you want  
I don't know who you are  
I have so much to learn  
I'm re-reading your letters  
And watching them burn (burn)

 

You held out your final lyric as you slide your hand through your hair giving to a seductive look as you smile gently

I'm watching them burn (burn)

 

You walk back off stage towards the sweet ginger women and face the man with her

You published the letters she wrote to you  
You told the whole world  
How you brought this girl into our bed  
In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives

 

You watch them smile at you, the women dances with you for a second and you turn towards the final member of the party. You playfully sit on his lap making the dancing boys giggle and with in and instant of being close to him his aura is strikingly familiar 

Heaven forbid someone whisper  
"He's part of some scheme"  
Your enemy whispers  
So you have to scream  
I know about whispers  
I see how you look at my sister

 

You look him in his eyes and slide your hand down the jawline of his mask and you quickly sing the next part and jump off his lap as he starts to Raise his hand to touch your waist.

Don't  
I'm not naive  
I have seen women around you  
Don't  
Think I don't see  
How they fall for your charms  
All your charms

 

You make your way back to the stage as a spotlight shines down on you making it your form glow

I'm erasing myself from the narrative  
Let future historians wonder how Eliza reacted  
When you broke her heart  
You have thrown it all away  
Stand back, watch it burn  
Just watch it all burn

 

You place the microphone on the stand as you move your hands to pull your hair gently and pull at your dress in distress as your sing the next parts with real feeling

And when the time comes  
Explain to the children  
The pain and embarrassment  
You put their mother through

 

You held your Mic stand and gratefully see you DJ enter the building as you finish the song, you loved singing and preforming but you felt something , an aura that was borderline toxic

When will you learn  
That they are your legacy?  
We are your legacy  
If you thought you were mine (mine, mine)  
Don't

You sing the last verse as the lights and music cut off abruptly and your disappear from the stage. When the lights come back on Ayano is on the stage and you have retreated to the VIP section unseen. You didn't mind filling in like that but you still rather be stealing supplies and riding wild through the city. Your alias was little Red and you were probably the most wanted women in the city just because you liked to play and your version of fun was unorthodox. It usually involved dead cops and millions of dollars in property damage. Ayano sometimes joined you when you did larger jobs, she was the Yandere who only barely came out, which she was thankful for because her boyfriend taro had mixed feelings about crime in los Santos. You decided to hang around a bit a have a drink or two before you changed and left for the night. You walked to the hidden safe in your office and pull out a a Matte black pistol and put on a thigh holster using your dress to hide it . You walk back out of the VIP room and sneak silently in the shadows towards the bar. When you make it there you order a glass of vodka and chat to your bartender politely as you drink it calmly.The DJ is playing some amazing music and your guests seem to be having a good time, you consider going out for a bit however you feel a whirlwind in your tummy. Something was about to happen and you were ready for it.

You feel his presence before you see him, it's familiar to you way too familiar, downing the rest of your drink you turn and face the man in the skull mask. “Something I can help you with skipper” you say leaning back on your bar. The man takes off his mask and you see a face you wish you could forget. Ryan Haywood your ex fiancé.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’ve been here under my nose , this whole time.” his voice is just how you remember it demanding and demeaning. Your bartender slides you a whiskey and you hold the glass as you smirk, “Well you left me to die why you ran off with that hussy”. The words tasted bitter on your tongue just like the whiskey that flooded your mouth. His eyes rake down your body for a minute before he glares at you, “She was just a friend you were already half dead no point in killing myself too.” you laugh and lean against the bar watching your guests dance. “We both know death can't catch me. I'm so glad, you care about your “Friends“ more than the woman you were going to marry.”  Ryan huff and and takes a step forward, “Maxx I was in love with you, I had a moment of hesitation.” You wave your bartender away and say, “Well I never had any hesitation with you, and I still don't. Have a good evening Mr.Haywood.” you grab the bottle your bartender left behind and walk towards the stairs that lead to the VIP section. “You Ungrateful Bitch!” you hear behind you making the DJ stop and all attention to you and the Unmasked Vagabond. Ryan was usually so calm and reserved unless you knew how to push his buttons, which just happened to be something you excelled at. You take a swig of liquid courage before turning around, “excuse me?” you smirk. You watch the rest of the Fakes look you up and down as the Vagabond Growls, “I did everything for you. I thought you died and you just show up as some bar singer , no warning, you should have came to me.” you take a deep breath trying not let you angry make you ugly. “You shouldn't have left me then. You ran off with Meg and left me to die, we were supposed to be a team, I never left you behind  when you were injured but the one time I was you threw me away.” Ayano creeps closer to you and the Fakes stepped further away thoroughly confused. Ryan moves closer, “It was an act of sacrifice I had to make.” he holds strongly. You bust out laughing and slam the bottle of whiskey on table tears sliding down your cheeks. “Yeah Ryan you sure sacrificed everything that day.” Ayano places her hand on your shoulder and looks away. The Whole crew is confused your past lover as well. “You sacrificed me, our marriage and even your own child.” you whisper the last part.

 

Anger wells inside you and you hear footsteps towards you but you don't care, you feel arms wrap around you. Too small to be Ryan's but to muscular to be Ayanos, you look and see the ginger women holding you tightly, within seconds you wrap your arms around her.  Soon the tuxedo man is hugging her and you The rest soon follow everyone except the man with paint on his face. You pull away and say, “Ryan you will never understand sacrifice I'll ask you only once please let things lie.” you turn and grab the bottle once again. Your almost up the stairs when you hear,”You can't expect me to let this lie. I'm sorry I left you Maxx I'm sorry I didn't know but you can't tell me that and want me to just accept it.” you feel a burning in your chest as anger and you grip the bottle tightly trying not to lose your mind. “Ryan you have to understand where she's coming from too. You left her and she never called,your both hurt.” you hear the sweet women from the fakes say. You drink more of the whiskey desperately to keep hold of yourself. “I thought she was dead fucking Jack what do you fucking expect of me to think.” you drink the rest  of the whiskey and chuck the bottle at Ryan's head. You smile when the bottle makes contact as he and the bottle fall to the ground only one shattering physically. Ayano step towards the tuxedo man, “Mr.Ramsey please remind your associate that Miss Goodnight does not take kindly to vulgarity in her establishment” the crews eyes go wide. “Goodnight?” the whole crew says in surprise. You turn around and say, “Yes Maxx Goodnight I'm sure you've heard of me from San Andreas.” the man in the gold sunglasses releases his British accent by saying, “Bloody hell women. Did you really take out a five star level police battalion?” you nod and say, “Miniguns work well. But the police chief that mysteriously died in his office, I slit his throat with his own badge.” The fakes take a step back as Ryan comes to his senses standing up, “Your a club owner huh? We both know you didn't give up running wild for some management job.” you smirk and gesture to Ayano, “Actually Ayano is kind enough to monitor the club when I am not here even joins me on my wild streaks she is a very important asset to me.”

 

Ayano nods folding her arms across her chest as the fakes stare at you both in amazement.  You decide on one last act of defiance as you do something most people wouldn't dare to do you stand in the vagabonds face, “I think it's time for you to leave. Leave or I will make you leave” he glares down at you hard “no” his voice matches his stare but your unfazed. But within  seconds of his words your plant you foot in the center of his chest and kick him hard to the door. You use your momentum and flip forward pulling your gun from your holster pointing it the exact same moment. You watch Jack run between you both her eyes glaring hard at Ryan. “Enough Ryan leave Geoff take the boys with him immediately” you watch Ryan stand unwavering neither of you wants to back down but when the man in the tuxedo places his hand on his shoulder. He lowers his weapon and says, “This is not over.” as he turns and leaves the rest of the men behind him. You lowered your weapon and put it back in your holster, it's just you, Ayano and Jack. The older women seems kind enough and your staff hiding away are well armed and well trained. The ginger haired lady turns to face you and you motion to her to follow you and she does. You lead her to the bar sitting on a bar stool with her while Ayano pulls out a bottle of wine and two glasses. “So your Jack huh.” you say looking her up and down. She smiles, her smile is warming and it reminds you of a mother's love.”And you're Maxx”. Ayano fills the glasses with wine and you nod taking one and sipping it gently.  “So what's happened to you and Ryan?” she's straight forward and you sigh.”how long do you have?” she gives you a look and says “all night if you need me ?” you smile at her and say, “ Tell your men to leave then I'll give you a ride home later.” she nods and steps away with her glass. “Ayano send Miss Jack to the VIP room and open for business. No use being close tonight.” you say as you take your wine glass and bottle to the VIP room and sit down on the couch watching Jack come in followed by a crowd of people who begin filling the club.

 

You and Jack sit down and talk for hours as a wild party happens below yall, you tell her everything,  how Ryan left you, your regret for taking the job and your disgust towards Meg who conveniently works with the fakes in their Blaine county section. You tell her about your life up to that point and even tell her about Your past relationship with Ryan, the engagement, the pregnancy surprise, well your pregnancy surprise. You even tell her about your brothers ,Jon and Tyler, who also live in the city. The bottle of wine is long gone and the party has since died down and disappeared  when you both are done talking. You found out the names of all the fakes and even learn about Jack's relationship with Geoff Ramsey and just how such a sweet women, who loves gardening and Legos, entered the most ruthless crew in the city. Talking with her is relaxing and you and her exchange numbers deciding to continue a blossoming friendship and she waits for you to change back in your clothes before following you to your wine red gauntlet. She gives you directions to the Fakes Penthouse and even invites you in, despite your better judgment you get out of your car and follow her into the elevator. You're giggling together when the door reaches the top and opens revealing Geoff and Ryan look at you both like angry dad's catching their daughters home after curfew. You look at each other before laughing like crazy people, “Where the fuck were you guys?!” Geoff yells making you both laugh harder and fall to the ground you and Jack lay on the floor before you smile and get up. Jack says, “We just had a great talk and lost track of time.” you look at your ex and sigh before you hug Jack and say, “Thanks for the talk Jack let's get together and i dunno do something”. Jack wraps her arms around you, her warm embrace comforting and you are kinda sad to be leaving your new friend. “Drive home safe sweetie okay. Don't be afraid to call or text me whenever. “ You pull away and look away from Ryan's hard glare, it's been awhile since you actually had a friend and not a person who worked for you. 

 

You get back in the elevator and head down to the bottom floor you're just barely starting your car when you hear a knock on your window. You turn and see Ryan staring down at you,starting your car he places his hands on your door.  You turn your radio up to max volume so you don't hear him yelling at you to wait and talk to him. You speed off towards your home realizing how exhausted you really are, you park in your garage and walk into your house. You kick off your heels the cold floor making your tired feet feel amazing, unbuttoning your jeans you walk out of them  leaving them on your bedroom floor revealing your red lace panties. You throw of your hoodie and show of your matching bra before you go to the bathroom to wash your makeup off. You flop on your bed and revel in the chill feeling of your blankets as you pull them over your body . You close your eyes and get comfortable falling asleep. 


	3. three : A moment of weakness in yourself

 

Your mind is plagued with memories of the night that changed your life, seven years ago.  Your running and can clearly see Ryan in front of you holding an unconscious Meg in his arms as he ran across the rail yard. Your Leather jacket was ripped and you had scraps across your arms ,your jeans covered in blood, dirt and gunpowder.  You could barely keep up in your thigh high leather boots, your chest burned but you couldn't stop. You turned around for a mere moment when the bullet pierced through your jacket and straight through the right side of your stomach and exited the left side. You fall to the ground and scream out for Ryan you were losing a lot of blood and fast you body burned and your heart was racing . Tears stung your eyes as you watched the love of your life run off holding the woman you knew he was infatuated with.  You scream waking up, your room dark, night long since has fallen, you slide your hand over your stomach and feel the scar just under your belly button. You Wish That It All had been a nightmare except that it wasn't it had actually happened. You crawled under a railcar while the gang members ran after Ryan and when it was clear you fought with every ounce of strength to stay alive. You made it to a pay phone and were lucky enough to find change on the ground. There's was only enough for one call but you made it count, you called your brothers Jon and Tyler and were lucky enough for them to answer. It wasn’t long for them to get to you with Jons’ medical training he was able to save your life but the bullet had managed to go straight through the precious fetus that you hadn't known lived inside a of you. It hurt losing something you hadn't even had a chance to know about it, you were bedridden for months before you got back in the game. Your brothers followed you around while you got the hang of things again. 

 

You roll over and turn your lamp on its light illuminating the room, you didn't really feel like going to the club and decided to go for a walk on the beach instead.  You get out of bed and throw on your black cropped hoodie and a pair of blue jean shorts, normally you were self-conscious about your scars but for some reason you didn't really care. Getting into your gauntlet you drive to Del perro pier and quickly park and jump out of the car letting your bare feet dig into the sand. You take a breath and release all your pent up energy,  it is a fucking amazing feeling you walk down the beach and revel in the freedom you've obtained. the wind blows around you as you run across the beach you're soon out of the sand and running across the wooden pier. Your at full sprint as your enveloped in the colorful lights from the amusement park rides and you smile before you see the stairs leading a second level and jump over the stairs. The feeling of being weightless in the air like your flying is best feeling world you land on the edge of the dock, your body slamming against the railing as  waves crash against the support beams underneath. You hear yelling behind you and turning your delighted to see Jack,s’ warm smile, which is undoubtedly contagious because you find yourself smiling too. You run up the stairs and she envelopes you in a hug , filling you with warmth as she holds you close. “What are you doing here?”, she asks gently pushing your bangs out of your face. Looking up at the taller slightly older women was like talking to a big sister, an aunt or a mother, it was easy and seamless, “I needed some air and this is one of my favorite places to go when i can’t sleep.” She smiles and wraps her arm across your shoulders and leads you to the roller coaster where the rest of the fakes minus Ryan were laughing and joking around. “Maxx this is the Fakes you already know Geoff so i wont bother his introduction,” She grinned pointing at the man with a handlebar mustache who chuckled shaking his head,She motioned to the two men closest to her, The curly haired ginger in a leather jacket and beanie  hand the man with gold sunglasses and large nose on his shoulders. “This is Michael and Gavin you’ll almost always find them with Jeremy and ray . We like to call them the lads.” The guy in the purple hoodie and glasses looked up at his name away from his pink DS and the much shorter man in Orange and purple waved. You smiled at them and said a simple, “Hello” You watch and Michael and Gavin wave back only to result in them toppling down and everyone laughing at them.

 

Geoff  shoves his hands in his pockets and leans against the building  behind him as he says, “ Got ya some speed there kid you’d make a good,” You cut him off and say, “ Assassin? hit girl? Thief? Bank robber?”  he chuckles at your enthusiasm and says, “Yeah kid all that and even more.” Jeremy casually points at the scars on your stomach that you had almost forgotten about and says, “What happened there Maxx?” You look down and gasp using your hands to hide them you say, “ I was shot one day during a heist went straight through me.” Geoff  sighs and takes a step towards you before and gets down on a knee “Mind If I take a look please?” he says his tattoo covered hands gently on your small ones. His touch is warm and comforting And as you look in his eyes you see kindness and care. You give a quick glance at Jack who nods before slowly removing your hands. He examines your scars his fingers gently brush over your scars the Lads all had their eyes on you more specifically Geoff's hands on your exposed skin. Geoff looks at you and says, “looks like a sniper shot, must have been either a shit shooter or you were very lucky kid.”  You smile and say, “shit shot and quick turn but not lucky.” Jack smiles at you as Geoff stands up, “must be mighty brave then kiddo.” you grin and say, “nope just got a wild streak in me”. Geoff laugh and ruffles your hair, “Your definitely wild alright.” you hear his gruff voice before you see him. 

 

Geoff steps to the side revealing Ryan Haywood, he was dressed  just like he was the day he ran off his Ripped blue Jeans , black t shirt and  sneakers his hair pulled into a ponytail and a grey cap on his head. all he was missing was the armor. He's definitely more muscular than before and with you barefoot he towered high. “Maxx always jumped into things without thinking. No matter what the cost was, in fact if my memory serves you turn her around you'll find angel wings tattooed on her back for someone who is most definitely not an angel.” you growled and said “ you know what James” he winces at the use of his first name, “for your information I don't need to be an angel to fly.” you turn around and take off running full sprint towards the end of the pier you jump over the steps and manage to land on the rail to push yourself off flying far towards the ocean. The feeling is great the cold air tickles your face as your hair floats around you but there one thing to remember when it comes to flying and it's eventually your gonna fall. You dive deep into the water as the the Fakes rush the end of the per to see your splash, you revel in the salty water and it's almost as if your weightless.  “Ryan!” Jack yells pushing the taller man, “She could be dead down there!” Tears are burning her eyes as the anger from the thought of losing her new friend drove her insane. “Jack she's fine.”is all he says as if it was an normal occurance. Jack's gripping the railing as you float until your lungs burn before swimming up to the surface gasping for the sweet relief of oxygen. Jack screams your name and you wave to her you can see the tears from the water you smile as you see the Lads begin to jump into the water. 

 

Their Laughter fills your ears as they splash and plan with you in the water, you enjoyed yourself despite the anger inside you the lads brought out your child like senses. When you decide to leave the water Geoff and Jack are holding hands walking down the beach and Ryan is sitting in the sand his eyes glued to you. As much as you wanted to stay you refused to face him anymore, His rude comments and glares weren’t worth the anger that boiled in side you. Diving under the water you swim towards the pier to hide behind the pillars that held the dock and sneak your way to your car. The air is freezing as water slides down your legs your run as fast as your legs will carry you and get in your car. You turn on your car and start the heat  you crash against the seat and catch your breath when you catch a glimpse of your past lover in your side mirror walking towards you and shift into drive and speed off towards your home leaving him in your dust. The Fakes are so nice and so loving despite what all the papers say, they were the sweetest, and deep down you wished you could get over your fear. That's what it was, fear, because deep down inside you still loved him and you're Afraid of loving anyone again, and as always you did the one thing you both knew how to do best and that was run from tough things arise. You drove to your apartment and ran inside the cold air froze your wet flesh and you were not about anything cold. You get in your bathroom and strip out of your wet clothes and jump into a hot shower, you slid down the shower wall and sat on the floor as the scalding water warmed your body and washed away the salt from your hair

 

. Tears slowly mixed with the shower water as you thought about all the good times you and Ryan had in Georgia,you thought about the first day you met him, you were young only about 15 and you were climbing a peach tree with your brothers. You reached for a peach that was just a little too high up and slipped you fall about 16 feet on a boy maybe sixteen years of age who held a basket of sweet peaches himself. One look in his eyes and you were hooked, so was he, turns out just like you he wasn't just picking peaches he was stealing them and when the farmer saw you both laying in peach juice on his property, that was the day you realized you both worked better together. Tears burned your eyes at the memories, you and him were like Bonnie and Clyde  for a awhile, until Meg came along, now you weren't mad at Meg, you couldn't be because she didn't make the choice. Ryan did. She was beautiful and fun loving and unlike you had Ryan wrapped around her finger. You being to bawl as you remember how often he left you alone to go galavanting with her while you stayed home preparing for a new job, You would argue for hours on end but it always left you right where you were now, alone crying your eyes out. You pushed him away from your mind for years and now he popped up everywhere and it hurt your heart,mind and body. 

 

You stand up and wash the remaining salt off your skin and out of your hair before getting out and drying off, you wrap a towel around you and leave your bathroom. You scream and fall back against the door when you see him there, James Ryan Haywood in the flesh sitting on your bed  casually twirling a knife around his fingers. “What in the fuck are you doing here?”, you Yell clutching your towel to your frame in a desperate attempt to cover yourself as his eyes scan your body. He stands and calmly says, “Can we please talk about this? Maxx I'm begging you please.” you take a deep breath and try to swallow the lump in your throat and say, “Allow me to dress first please.” Ryan let's out a breath and nods watch as you make your way to your walk in closet and close the curtain behind you. Grabbing a set of simple white lace lingerie you  wonder why you still bought lacey shit over simple underwear but throw it on anyway before covering it with a Black V-neck shirt and red plaid pajama shorts. The sound of your bare feet across the wooden floors are the only sound in your whole apartment, when you re enter your room Ryan is sitting at your desk and you quickly climb onto your bed and pull a pillow to your stomach as you sit criss-cross. “I see you still favor the color red.” he says breaking the silence

 

 You reply with a simple nod and watch as he puts his knife on your desk, “Why are you here Ryan?” you say your stomach turning with anxiety. “Maxx why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant we wouldn't have done the job if you told me.” he says getting straight to the point. You sit up and say, “I didn't know myself until they told me. You think I would have been so careless to risk my child's life like that.”  you can see him holding back. “Why didn't you tell me afterwards? I thought we were supposed to be a team, Like Bonnie and clyde.” you squeeze the pillow closer and say, “What did you expect me to do Ryan? You just took off with Meg while I bled out on the train tracks.” He stands up and speaks louder, “Why do you always bring up Meg! I didn’t even know you fell all I remember is getting separated “ you stand on your knees throwing down the pillow as you yell,”I screamed for you while you carried her off! Immediately after we met her you basically forgot about me! The only time you came to me for anything was when you actually got drunk!” Tears burned your eyes and stained your cheeks your really had to get your shit together, all this crying was bad for your image.  Ryan looked at you in shock, “Do you have any idea what that did to me? Before her you made me feel beautiful and wanted and loved! She shows up and I'm forgotten about and it's like I'm just trash or something “ He sits next you after you plop back down covering your face with your hands, he wraps an arm around you. His touch is electrifying, and everything in you melts as you rub your face trying to keep yourself from crying, “I am so sorry I did that to you, I never thought that,” He gently moves your hands from your face and places his finger under your chin guiding you to look at him, “I never thought you as anything less than the love of my life, I loved waking up next to you in the morning. I loved you and I still do, I thought you were beautiful then and I think your beautiful now.” he leans forward as he speaks and soon your lips are touching.  

 

It's been years since you've kissed anyone, hell he’s the only person you have ever kissed, His arms wrap around you and you find yourself kissing him back. It felt amazing, like fireworks and sparks between you, he slides his hands you your arm pushing you on your back. It's unimaginably great, there's a voice in your head that screams to push him away but your body follows his movements. Even as his lips begin kissing the exposed flesh of your neck, Ryan whispers sweet nothings between every kiss and bite as he begins marking your neck.  His hands travel up your shirt where his fingers leave trails of fire as you find yourself resting your arms on his shoulders. Neither of you want to stop so neither of you do, and it's not long till your flesh are together touching, making something you haven't felt in so long, love. 


	4. I legit want to have a heartattack right now

You wake up alone the sun shining brightly in your room,and you're covered by the sheets and you're entirely naked. This feeling is familiar, all of Ryan's belongings are gone, even the knife he left on your desk. Your throw on your shirt from the night before and your white panties and leave your room searching for some sign of him still around. However, you don't have any luck, Ryan's gone and you fell right into his hands again. You sigh, you had to get some air you return to your bed room and take off your shirt you find the trail of hickeys Ryan burned into your skin he always like marking you. Changing into Burgundy Lingerie you throw on a pair of Jeans a leather Jacket and a Plain white tee . You slide your feet into a pair of thigh high heeled combat boots and lace them tight before strapping a thigh holster on , dropped a pistol in and heading out the door. You don't even bother with your car today, as you walk down the streets head down. How could you be so ignorant to fall for his game? You find yourself back at the beach, walking under the pier till you collapse into the sand, listening to the ocean. The sand is cool under you and you don't mind that your long hair is splayed around you in the sand as your thoughts consume you. Part of you hated yourself but the other part hated him, you knew deep down inside that it was a mutual event between you both and there was no point crying about it but that didn't stop you from feeling used, you and him had history so it wasn't like you were doing it with a stranger, except you hadn't been together in so long might as well as been. Why was the ocean your solace? Why did the vast amount of water help you relax? You hear footsteps heading towards you and open your eyes to see two of your favorite people in the world, your brothers, Tyler and Jon. You smile and sit up as they drop heavy backpacks on to the sand, “Hey kiddo” Tyler says his deep southern voice is comforting. Jon sits next to you and says,”Whatcha doing out here alone.” you lay your head on his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you as you say, “I found Ryan herein the city and I was so damn stupid Jon.” He wipes the tears you hadn't known were sliding down your cheeks, “The past is the past let's focus on the now okay?” Tyler says pushing your hair away from your face as you nod. Jon helps you up and says, “How about we go out we'll take you shopping got get our hair done and you can come to our nightclub tonight and we'll party like old times.”You smile dusting the sand off your jeans before following them to a blacked out night shark. They throw their bags in the back and everyone piles into the vehicle, Jon tells you about the heist they just completed and you think of the idea of doing a joint heist with them . Tyler drives to the Los Santos mall and for the next few hours you enjoy time with your brothers. 

Once you are done shopping and getting your hair done Jon and Tyler takes you to their nightclub to get ready. Jon plays with your thick fluffy curled hair while you watch a movie, Tyler had left to open the club long ago. Jon had his long hair pulled into a ponytail and he wore a blue floral romper, you and Tyler cracked jokes in the store when he bought it but he looked amazing. You on the other hand wore white high tops and white iridescent sequin jeans with a matching tied t-shirt and a white leather O-ring choker and rather large silver hoops earrings. Jon did your makeup so it was a bit different than what you’re used to, you had a pretty dark Burgundy eye shadow with a black wing and a nude lip gloss, he had amazing skills for makeup so you had the most blended contour ever. Tyler came up to the VIP room he wore Jeans, boots and a black V-neck long sleeve shirt he hands you a sparkly belt and says, “Enjoy yourself firecracker you're definitely going to draw attention tonight” you put the belt around your high waist jeans. “Hey it was your idea to come here. I was fine watching movies at home.”, you say as Jon adjust your hair. Tyler chuckles and wraps a arm around your shoulders leading you to the party,”The DJ is set to play all your favorite non-depressing songs” you smile hearing one of your favorite female anthems. Your brothers lead you into the suspended dance platform that normally held dancers but tonight were reserved for family tonight. You danced for about an hour when Tyler brings you a strawberry daiquiri and you sip it spinning on a dancing pole. Tyler and you joke and dance so you fail to notice a familiar group of people walk into the club. The Fake AH Crew walked in the club conjoined seemingly at the hip, except the Vagabond who in all honesty would rather be home that in some noisy club. “Oi Lads isn't that Maxx up there?” Gavin shouts point at where you are currently dancing between two men. Ryan's eyes darken as he sees you get spun by Jon, You never told him about your brothers so to him these two men were strangers to him, and despite himself jealousy found itself in his mind. The Fakes make their way to the bar while Ryan leans against wall watching your hips move as you dance and staring intensely at the way the lights shine on the sequins covering your whole outfit. His mind is racing with thoughts of the previous night the way his heart beat wildly when you skin touched his. He was infatuated with you again and despite himself you plagued his mind. 

You on the other hand only had one thing on your mind and that was a long island iced tea, Tyler and Jon both left for drinks and you were climbing a pole wrapping your legs around it and holding yourself on the pole. Running your hand through your hair you relaxed, Little mix was beginning on of your favorite songs,”Hair”. Your shook your hair as the beat picked up you laid back and looked over the crowd and catch the Fakes in your vision their eyes on you. Even the Vagabond held his gaze on you you smirked, it was time for a show that's for damn sure. You dropped down stopping before the bottom spread out in a split you stand up and dance along to the music gaining the attention of a majority of people down on the ground floor. Everyone watched the way you move your feet and hips, they were entranced but you were free. The music made you feel alive and it wasn’t about putting on a show for someone else it was just you being you and you were just like Tyler said Firecracker. You smirked seeing a pole that lead to the bottom floor and took a running start for a jump and grab the pole. People cheer and you see shock on Ryan's face. You do all kinds of tricks before doing a dramatic drop at the end of the song, Everyone around you is clapping and laughing except for Tyler who grabs your arm and starts dragging you away from the crowd. 

You pout like a child in trouble while Tyler scolds you for acting recklessly, “Are you serious Maxx you could have fallen and gotten hurt! What if you missed the pole or lost grip Maxx? “ His deep voice makes you feel like a child , you know He means well so you just let him ramble on. “Maxx ,Sweetheart, That was amazing!” You hear a female voice yell to you as you see the Fakes head towards you and your brother about the same time Jon yells, “Maxx you are in so much trouble! “ You sigh and turn to face your older sibling when you yanked into a hug and nearly suffocated in Jack's arms. “Honey that was so creative and I am so glad you're okay I was afraid of the worst when you jumped. “she coddled you so much you were almost wanting your brothers to yell at you. “Yeah Kid you really could have gotten hurt but this time you were lucky you didn't” Geoff says gently pulling out of Jack's death hug. Your brothers stare at the Fakes and soon Michael catches Tyler eyes , “Yo bro we got a problem!” he snarled. Tyler growls “Yeah I don't remember allowing Gang members into my club” You gasp and say, “Tyler these are my friends there okay” you sound like a teen explaining your choices . Jon eyes over the group and hisses ,”Even him” he point out Ryan and you look down. “Buddy were a group thing” Jeremy speaks up. You look at Ryan before facing your family, “No, but the Fakes with him are my friends. They don't have to pay for his mistakes.”you mumble. Tyler grips your arm and says,”I would like your friends to follow us to the VIP Area if you don't mind.” You look to Jon for help but his gaze is hard and identical to his older brother. 

The only thing running through your mind at this moment was two words.

Oh shit

**Author's Note:**

> whoa damn i am so excited about this one guys becuase i honestly was up last night typing the first few chapters of this the song is   
> First Burn from the Hamiltion Mixtape its quite shitty so be a little more imaginative with the preformance but trust me your gonna feel anger, sadness, and a whole lot of What in The fuck! feelings throughout this one.


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